Football news, rumours and lies.
Turmoil in Arab World Peter Ridsdale’s Fault
Plymouth, March 2nd 2011
Peter Ridsdale has gone into hiding after it has been revealed that the turmoil in the Arab world – initially bought on my financial struggles and now transferring to full-on revolution – is actually his fault.
Ridsdale has an exemplary record in football of taking the reigns of clubs and leading them into fiscal ruin – Leeds United, Barnsley, Cardiff City and now Plymouth Argyle – but it has emerged that several of the now troubled nations have relied on him in the past for financial advice, with disastrous consequences.
The mostly peaceful revolution in Tunisia began after investment funds that Ridsdale set up for political leaders backfired spectacularly. It is thought that the government would have survived but Ridsdale failed to answer their phone calls and was last seen in Tunisia heading across the border in a rented sports car with several briefcases overflowing with money.
President Mubarak of Egypt lost much of his nation’s assets entering into a pyramid saving scheme that Ridsdale had organised, without noting that most of the investors in the pyramid set-up above him were actually friends and family of Ridsdale. As the protests in Cairo gathered momentum President Mubarak even went on television and pleaded with his people to find Ridsdale and that then the financial situation would improve.
However, Ridsdale had already crossed the border into Libya where he convinced football-mad Colonel Gaddaffi to let him be in charge of his money issues. An irate Gaddaffi has sworn to kill the now missing Ridsdale after isuing the following statement:
“He must die. He has wasted the money of my people. How did he spend £14 million on fees to football agent Rune Hauge? And how on earth did we spend £500,000 per month on tropical fish?”