Football news, rumours and lies.
Further Scandal Over Newcastle Player’s Night Out
Newcastle, March 22nd 2011
Whilst Leon Best and Stephen Ireland have apologised to Newcastle United supporters for their night out prior to their teammates being beaten 4-0 by Stoke City at the weekend, further controversy is now likely as more scandal from their evening has emerged.
The first issue is down to their alcohol intake – or lack of it. A NUFC supporters club representative has stated that he was “appalled” at the fact that they only had one drink each, and that drink was thought to be a mere bottle of Budweiser. He added “if they want to play for the Toon they should be drinking 8 bottle of Brown per bar, and gannin’ to at least 10 bars a night. Soft southern bastards.”
The venue of their evening has also been criticised. Instead of choosing either a garish, loud nightclub filled to the brim with scantily clad girls or a dank, dusty pub full of flat-cap and Toon shirt wearing men; It has now been revealed that the two players instead opted for a quiet wine bar and pretty much kept themselves to themselves. The NUFC supporters club have said that this is “a massive slap in the face”.
Our contact saved most of his disgust for the final bit of news though. We showed him CCTV footage of the two players leaving the club and he was visibly sickened by what he saw. He retched and heaved as it became obvious that the two men had committed the most heinous crime that a man can in the North East: Wearing coats.
“They’re dead to us now, man” said our contact. “That is the worst thing… I’m ganna hurl again.”
Best and Ireland are expected to receive death threats in the coming weeks, written on the back of “North Face” catalogues.