Football news, rumours and lies.
Rooney Appeals Against Choice of Dinner
Manchester, April 7th 2011
Wayne Rooney has issued a statement this afternoon to make the press aware that he will be appealing against his wife Colleen’s choice of dinner for this evening.
A representative for Rooney issued the following statement:
“Wayne has decided, upon consulting his agent and Alex Ferguson, that he is to appeal against his wife and her choice of dinner for this evening. Wayne is deeply unhappy at the choice that Colleen made upon her weekly visit to Asda yesterday. He had repeatedly stated what he would have liked for dinner tonight and this was ignored. Therefore he cannot sit idly by and allow Colleen to choose the contents of tonight’s meal.
Wayne has made his feelings known several times about vegetables. With the exception of corn on the cob from KFC he does not eat any vegetables, no matter how much Colleen may insist that they are good for him. For Colleen to choose a microwaveable medley of vegetables is an insult to Wayne, especially as this medley contains carrots, his absolute least favourite type of food.
This decision is made even worse with the choice of lasagne to accompany the vegetables. Wayne has repeatedly stated that he does not like lasagne as it is too foreign. Wayne has very specific dietary requirements and is left with no choice to appeal these decisions.”
It is thought that the appeal will take place in the kitchen of the Rooney residence later on today. Rooney is expected to calmly appeal at first, and then scream and roll around on the floor kicking his legs and beating his fists until his wife relents.
Rooney is suspected to want his “favourite tea” tonight of turkey drummers, super noodles and baked beans with a fab for dessert.