Inside The Sheepskin

Football news, rumours and lies.

Norwich Striker Has Good Season Despite Being Massively Tubby

So hungry he's trying to eat himself

Norwich, April 8th 2011

Norwich City have enjoyed a successful season and are pushing for promotion at this late stage – and much of this is down to the loveably chubby striker and club captain, Grant Holt.

Holt has suffered much criticism throughout his career – accusations that he couldn’t make it at a higher level, issues with his temperament and most tellingly, the fact that he is a great big fat man.

This season he has answered his critics, weighing in with 19 league goals and his steady captaincy has paid huge rewards with his team-mates.  Fellow striker Simeon Jackson told Inside the Sheepskin that Holt was all business:  “He knows that there’s a time to have a laugh and time to work hard” said Jackson.  “Plus he’s happy to whip us all into shape.  Especially if you take one of his donuts.”

Holt has also kept fans amused, growing a mustache for “Movember” and celebrating goals in unusual ways – he even picked up a booking during one game for sitting cross legged by the corner flag and eating a KFC Bargain Bucket after firing in a 30 yard screamer.

If Holt manages to secure promotion with Norwich he will become the fattest player to play in the top flight of English football since Tomas Brolin in the late 1990s.  Brolin is currently living in a one bedroom flat in Gothenburg, unable to get out of bed without the aid of a winch.

The Norwich skipper does have some way to go before he can compete with the fattest player in English top-flight history though.  Liverpool midfield schemer Jan Molby weighed 46 stone at the peak of his career in the late 80s and early 90s, before having to retire with a gout related injury.


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