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Title Race to Go to Wire – And Manchester United
Manchester, May 3rd 2011
With Arsenal scraping a hard-earned victory over Manchester United at the weekend and Chelsea picking up three point, the Premier League title race is hotting up. It will now be the final day of the season before Manchester United are named champions, with the regular crushing inevitability.
Football fans across the world are expected to be glued to their TV screens, grasping onto the vague notion that Manchester United might not win the league for what feels like the billionth time in recent seasons.
Next weekend Chelsea travel to Manchester United, and a win will put them level on points with United. Despite most football fans wanting this and Chelsea taking a two-goal lead, United will, as usual, drag two goals back and secure a point, before winning easily on the last day of the season as the world prays for a miracle to end their vice-like grip on English football.
United will win the league seven times in the next ten years, before Sir Alex Ferguson is frozen to preserve his body. He’ll then be revived in 83 years time, winning 24 more league titles before he is killed by a genetically engineered dinosaur at a theme park.