Inside The Sheepskin

Football news, rumours and lies.

John Terry Denies Racism, Admits Being Utter Cunt

Thinking about punching a child

London, October 24th 2011

Following controversy during Chelsea’s 1-0 defeat at QPR yesterday, John Terry has made great effort to utterly refute any suggestion of him using racist language towards Rangers defender Anton Ferdinand or anybody else – while cheerfully admitting that he is a complete and utter cunt of the highest order.

“I cannot think of anything worse than using racist language” said the Blues captain this morning at Chelsea’s training complex.  He then added that “I am happy to report that I am still a total prick who will – away from any bigoted behaviour towards anyone ethnically different to myself – happily steal your Mrs, drive whilst drunk, abuse a referee and clothesline an old lady from her mobility scooter.”

Terry then left the press conference to attend a Kick Racism Out of Football special event where he posed for photographs with youngsters, before hitting on an attractive female PR representative – even though she insisted that she wasn’t interested.

He was then seen leaving the event after scraping his keys down the side of her car.

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