Inside The Sheepskin

Football news, rumours and lies.

Steve Kean Desperately Tries to Impress People of Blackburn

Just pointing out his only friend (his mum)

Blackburn, October 24th 2011

As pressure mounts on him from supporters, Blackburn Rovers boss Steve Kean has started taking drastic measures to make the people of Blackburn like him.

“I’m a bit fed up of seeing all the “Kean Out” banners around Ewood Park” said the embattled manager yesterday.  “So I’m going to try my best to make myself as popular as I can within Blackburn.”

So far he has learned to make meat and potato pies from scratch, sent hand-made greetings cards to every single Rovers season ticket holder, walked all of the dogs that are owned by the elderly and in-firmed within the town, kissed “more than three” babies and has learned to play the Hovis music on both clarinet and tuba.

“I’m not sure if it’s working yet” he added.  “Earlier on I thought one man raised his flat cap at me, but it merely turned out he had an itchy scalp.”

Kean does remain upbeat about turning around opinion of himself though.  “They’ll learn to love me eventually.  After all, I’m not entirely sure what they’re expecting from me.  This is Blackburn after all.”

It is thought that Blackburn have amazingly won the Premier League title once, despite only ever filling their stadium when a shipment of spoiled tripe and offal was auctioned off on the pitch.

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