Football news, rumours and lies.
Victoria Beckham Re-signs David to LA Galaxy
Los Angeles, January 20th 2012
Major League Soccer side LA Galaxy are celebrating Victoria Beckham signing a new contract on behalf of her husband today, with the 36 year old midfielder agreeing to stay at the club for “as long as Victoria wants to stay in California”.
Victoria – known for being stick-thin and her minor hit single with Dane Bowers entitled “Out of Your Mind” – has enjoyed settling on the west coast of the USA, attending endless parties, shopping like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” on Rodeo Drive and tanning her already leathery skin yet further. David has on the other hand been subject to playing in a sub-standard league whilst trying to convince the world that the MLS was in any way valid and important like the stylish little automaton that his wife has programmed him to be.
There had been rumours that David might have been coming back to the English Premier League, based chiefly on the fact that Victoria was seen shopping in London during the first week of January whilst David watched the children. Only one top flight club was interested in him though, with Wigan Athletic keen on bringing the past-it midfielder in to play ten minutes per game and double their home attendances to 2,000.
Paris St Germain was also a rumoured destination, merely because Victoria spent the entire autumn fashion season there whilst David remained in Los Angeles watching their children. MLS fans can now rejoice though, with David Beckham playing to packed stadiums of confused fans alongside Robbie Keane, who has admitted that the Galaxy “had been his team since he was a kid”.
Victoria Beckham will keep David at LA Galaxy until he is 40, when he will be packed up and placed in a wardrobe behind her many, many dresses.