Inside The Sheepskin

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Tag Archives: Leicester City

Local Man Takes Credit for Penalty Award

Lee Brown, yesterday. In a fucking van.

Leicester, December 26th 2011

Following a dour boxing day draw between Championship sides Leicester City and Ipswich Town, Loughborough-based Leicester supporter Lee Brown is taking credit for the penalty that drew the Foxes level in the second half.

At a hastily arranged press conference from the corner of a bar in a city centre public house, Brown told the gathered crowd of three friends who had not attended the game that the penalty – converted by Paul Gallagher after a handball from Ipswich forward Jason Scotland – was awarded purely because he shouted for it from his position in the King Power Stadium’s South Stand.

“The ref wasn’t having none of it” said Brown, between gulps of Stella Artois from a vaguely unclean glass.  “He was walking away until I called him a cunt, then he looked up, nodded at me and gave the pen.  All down to me.”

Brown’s associates nodded and agreed with the 27 year old van driver, who has a history of affecting refereeing decisions both for club and country.  In particular, the David Beckham free kick against Greece in 2001 that took England to the 2002 World Cup was only awarded – according to Brown – because he shouted the word “twat” repeatedly at the television whenever the referee was in shot.

So, what’s next?  Brown is looking forward to the FA Cup where he has “big plans” for affecting the referee in the East Midlands derby between City and Nottingham Forest, mainly by saying that he had sex with his mum in order to gain City a vital last-minute corner.

Names Linked to Leicester Vacancy Just Getting Stupid Now

Welllllll....

Leicester, October 27th 2011

Following the shock dismissal of Sven Goran Eriksson from the Leicester City managerial job earlier this week, it has emerged that all of the names in the frame to take the hotseat are frankly utterly unrealistic and ludicrous from one end of the scale to another.

A club spokesman said that “honestly, we’re just going after a decent young manager.  Someone like Chris Powell or Lee Clark, maybe someone experienced like Billy Davies.  That’s who we’re interviewing and approaching.  Not that you’d think that based on what we’ve been reading about in the papers.”

On one end of the spectrum you have – following a Sky Sports interview with Mark McGhee regarding the vacancy where he declared an interest – amazingly unsuitable contenders.  Aside from McGhee – hated in Leicester for leaving them for Wolves, then most recently sacked by Aberdeen for being the worst manager in Scotland and having a head like a potato – other names linked to the job have been Alan Shearer and his island of hair (one win as a manager in his entire career), Christian Gross, Steve McLaren and his umbrella, Marco Boogers and Ronny Rosenthal – the Israeli carthorse being given odds of 3-1 at present.

On the other side of the coin are managers that are clearly not going to take the job if it is offered.  From former boss Martin O’Neill to Luis Felipe Scolari to Sir Alex Ferguson to Jose Mourinho, bookmakers and press alike are clearly taking the piss.  The full list of odds to take the job are as follows:

11/8 On (favourite) – Martin O’Neill (despite nailing a sign up outside his house saying he wasn’t interested)

EVENS – Alan Shearer

2-1 – Luis Felipe Scolari

3-1 – Ronny Rosenthal

3-1 – Avram Grant

3-1 – Sir Alf Ramsey

4-1 – Pep Guardiola

5-1 – Brian Clough

5-1 – Paul Peschisolido

6-1 – Steve McLaren’s Umbrella

7-1 – A rabbit called Graham

8-1 – Mark McGhee

9-1 – Craig Levein

10-1 – Neil Warnock’s ego

11-1 – A ham

12-1 – Sol Bamba

15-1 – Sir Clive Woodward

20-1 – Victoria Beckham

20-1 – Brooklyn Beckham

20-1 – Romeo Beckham

20-1 – Cruz Beckham

20-1 – Harper Seven Beckham

25-1 – A fruit pastille

30-1 – Our mate Tony who got Blyth Spartans into the Champions League on Football Manager

40-1 – Sven Goran Erikkson

50-1 – Billy Davies

60-1 – Lee Clark

70-1 – Chrissy Powell

80-1 – WWE Legend Mick Foley

90-1 – Pele

100-1 – Jeremy Kyle

150-1 – Kevin Keegan

200-1 – Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle

500-1 – Terry Christian

1000-1 – Denny Landzaat

1,000,000,000,000,000,000-1 – Anyone who can get Leicester promoted this year